The current contender for the Twilight Zone of worst gig experiences award belongs to a friend of mine, a seasoned pro musician with a track record of musical derring-do as long as your arm.

He was playing at a club at a UK coastal resort when the entertainments manager approached the band and asked if they could play the music to the Can Can. Musicians know this particular tune as coming from Offenbach’s ‘Orpheus in the Underworld’ and, as luck would have it, the keyboard player knew the tune well enough to perform it. The rest of the band knew the keyboard player well enough to trust him and busk along.

Curiousity was at a premium, however, and the band asked the ents manager the reason behind this unusual request. He replied that there was a chap in the audience – a middle aged, respectable businessman who was on holiday with his wife – who wanted to surprise the party he was with by coming on stage dressed in full Can Can regalia and cavort across the stage.

Fair enough. I haven’t met a bunch of musicians who aren’t game for this kind of thing on occasion and so it was agreed that, on cue, they would launch into their hastily improvised ensemble version of the Offenbach piece to the amusement of all and sundry. When the moment came, at a signal from the side of the stage, the band duly started to play and the holidaying businessman appeared from the wings to perform his stunt. Needless to say, he was greeted first with stunned amazement and then rapturous applause by the assembled throng and it looked like the whole affair was going to go with a bang and be a total success.

And then he dropped dead…

Apparently it was a massive coronary, but the band watched slack-jawed as their special guest clutched at his chest and fell to the floor like a bag of nails.

Dead.

Naturally this was met by confusion and dismay from everyone present as first aiders rushed forward to see if anything could be done for the poor unfortunate lying inert on the stage. It was soon apparent that their efforts were to no avail and an ambulance was summoned to perform the inevitable ritual of carting the body off into the night.

Obviously spirits were somewhat dampened by this tragic turn of events and the mood of the audience was that of shocked disbelief at what they had just witnessed. But the entertainment manager was a real pro and knew exactly what he had to do. He approached the band, who by this time were on an unscheduled break in a huddle at the back of the stage, and said, ‘It’s gone a bit quiet in here. Can you guys go back on stage and play something?